Hello there world, intern Jake here. I hope you saw the title and had enough sense to leave right away; but since you’re reading this, I must assume “in for a penny, in for a pound.” Evictions are tricky, and loving evictions is even trickier. Evictions bring to mind horrific mental pictures of down on their luck, hardworking, God-loving Americans being ruthlessly stripped of their homes by “the man.” But the dirty little secret of evictions is, without some form of redress for landlords, the rental market would all but disappear and violent disputes would break out as landlords turned to illegal means to rid themselves of their tenants. Evictions are the grease for the mechanism that allows hard-working people to have a home, despite not currently being financially able to buy a home. Without this necessary “evil” the risks associated with renting your property would drive the costs of renting your property through the proverbial roof.
So how do you file an eviction? You have two options. 1: Call a lawyer and have them deal with the filing, judgment, sheriff, court, and many delightful snags you may hit along the way. Here is the number of an excellent lawyer. 2: Do it yourself (unless you are not an individual owner of your rental property, then there are many situations where you aren’t even legally allowed to file evictions yourself, for instance, if the property is owned by a trust, you are required by law to hire a lawyer to file for you). Write a cover sheet, complaint and summons, call your court to find what special rules they have, set a court date, file your pleadings, file motions of default for failure to pay and failure to appear, serve the summons, keep your court date, get sheriff to evict tenant, and hope you do everything correct. Which is difficult, because almost every county does evictions in a slightly different manner? Did I mention that almost every county does evictions differently?
Yesterday was a good day, as I was privileged to see firsthand the positive effects of evictions. We put a nice family with several kids into a sweet four bedroom rental house. I loved that feeling, because I know firsthand as a renter how exciting it is to move into a new place, despite not having the means to purchase at this time of my life. For many people, myself included, renting is the only real option available at certain times in their lives. None of that would be possible had we not first had the ability to evict the deadbeat who was in the place previously.
Most renters understand that once you stop paying rent, it is time to move, but for those that don’t understand or simply don’t care, there are evictions. I honestly get no joy when dealing with the hard evictions, mothers and their children, but there are distasteful aspects to any worthwhile job. It is for that very reason that evictions can be very difficult and time consuming— to ensure that anyone with a right to remain in their house has the best opportunity to do so. It is also for that reason, that I suggest using a qualified and experienced attorney to handle the entire process for you.
 I really suggest not reading the footnotes.
 (the British monetary unit).
 Do you also hate kittens and puppies?
 I hate that guy.
 Fancy legal word that means remedy.
 See I’m trying to make all those poor union thugs lose their second job. In this economy no less, for shame.
 I’m talking about renting here if you were lost.
 If it was through your literal roof you might need a different type of lawyer.
 That’s how the free market works, the landlord passes the spendings on to YOU!
 I would have called a lawyer, this seems like a lot of work.
 Only if it has good internet.
 Think of the students, this is a service for them, and they are our future.
 If you lived in a dorm, you were a renter.
 Imagine if hotels had to use evictions to make you leave your room.
 See? I told you it was a lot of work.
 Shameless self-promotion once again.
 No seriously, hire us!